Silence
by TremendouslyMental
Summary: "If only I had broken that silence, maybe we wouldn't have ended up where we are today." Negitoro, now a twoshot. Has mentions of rape, suicide, and murder, but not in extreme detail.
1. Chapter 1

We first talked when we were six.

I was walking home, and so was she. She talked to me first.

"Hi!" was the first thing she said to me. Even back then her high-pitched voice was adorable.

"...Hi." I was unsure of what to say. My parents' endless repeats of rules like "don't talk to strangers" were stopping me from getting too comfortable around her, not to mention my tendencies to treat everyone coldly.

"I'm Miku! You're in my class at school, aren't you?" She was very excited when she talked to me. I didn't know what to say back, so I just said the first thing that came into my head.

"...Why are you talking to me?" was my blunt reply. I was always never one to try and sugarcoat conversations.

"Because, you look like an interesting person!" she answered happily. I gave her a look; even as a kid I knew that you shouldn't go and try to talk to strangers just because they looked interesting. More likely than not, those 'interesting' people were the ones that would hurt you the most.

"Still. Go away." I crossed the road and sped up my pace, leaving her to walk on her own. Within minutes, I was in the comfort of my own house. I looked out of the window and saw her walking along, staring at the ground. I could see her frown from all the way across the road. My six-year-old self felt slightly bad - only a tiny shred of guilt in my heart - but I didn't even intend on apologising. I just walked up into my bedroom to go god knows what.

Looking back, I really wish I wasn't as harsh on her. She could've ended up somewhere better if I had tried being her friend.

The next day, I went to school and she was there. Of course, she tried talking to me again.

"Hi!"

"Get lost." It seemed my coldness had doubled overnight. Yet, still she persisted.

"Wanna play a game?" Her enthusiasm had not been affected at all by my cold response.

"No. Get lost." I really don't know why I was being so mean. I should've embraced the opportunity I was given. It wasn't like I had made any friends in the class. I was too scared to talk, too scared of failure, too scared of rejection.

"But I just wanna-"

"Get lost before I tell the teacher." I was really getting annoyed.

"...Fine." She had given up. Head bowed, she trotted over to her seat and ate a leek quietly. I noticed the teacher looking back and forth between me and Miku with furrowed eyebrows. He looked at me directly in the eyes, to which I just took out my tuna sandwich. I think he let it go, as he didn't say anything of it. I wish he did say something.

We were six then. Over the next seven years, we just existed, not acknowledging the other in any way. Somehow, we always ended up in the same class. Every once in awhile, I would glance catch her looking my way. Still, I thought nothing of it, and not as much as a word was exchanged between us.

This silence was broken when I was thirteen, and she was twelve. I had ended up as a loner, and had no friends. She was best friends with these blonde twins who had joined earlier on that year. They were inseparable; every day they walked to school together, every day they ate lunch together, and every day they walked home together. Therefore, I was surprised when I saw her shuffling along the road, all alone, no blonde twins in sight.

Naturally, I didn't talk to her. Hell, I doubted she even remembered who I was. I kept walking, and crossed the road when there were no cars passing by. She didn't notice me. She was too busy looking down at the ground, seemingly lost in thought.

Her head wasn't up. Of course, she _coulnd't_ have noticed the man who had sneaked out of a dark alleyway that led to god knows where. She didn't even have time to scream as he put one of his dirty hands over her mouth and dragged her into the deep, dark depths of the alleyway.

I was thirteen, and I was not at all brave. I had no strength at all, and I knew that it was utterly stupid to try and be a hero and save her from that disgusting man. But I did.

It was reflexive. I sprinted across the road, narrowly missing being run over by a speeding black car, and followed her and the man into the darkness, the risks of what I was doing not crossing my mind once. All I knew was that I couldn't let anything bad happen to Miku.

I heard a very short scream, so short that one might have thought that they imagined it. But I knew it was Miku's voice. Even though I didn't talk to her, I heard her talking during class. There was no mistaking it.

I raced towards the sound of the scream, and what I saw horrified me to the core. He had his trousers and his underwear bunched up at his knees, and he was trying to unbutton Miku's school shirt with the hand that wasn't covering her mouth. Her teal pigtails were dishevelled, and tears were streaming down her red face. She looked at me, her terrified, teal eyes silently begging me for help.

Everything I saw was tinted red. I'm not even sure what happened next. Everything was blurry.

The next thing I remember is that I was in bed at home. My eighteen-year-old brother, Luki, was asleep in the pink bean bag chair next to my bed. I didn't want to wake him up, but the desire to know what happened to Miku was overwhelming. I tried to speak, but my voice was extremely hoarse, and the words wouldn't form properly. I quickly fell into a coughing fit, which managed to wake Luki up.

"Luka! Oh my god, you're alright!" He quickly wrapped his arms around me in a soul-crushingly tight hug, and I had trouble breathing. Luckily, he let go after only about a second.

"Miku…" I croaked. I know - it's weird, isn't it? I wake up after encountering a rapist and the first thing I ask about is a girl I hadn't talked to in over seven years…

"Miku? Is that the girl who…" Luki's sentence faded into nothing. I nodded my head almost imperceptibly and he winced slightly.

"She's… alright." My eyes narrowed. I wanted to know what happened to her. I _needed_ to know what happened to her.

Maybe Luki could see it in my eyes, for he gave me a few details. "She's… not in the _best_ mental condition… she's really traumatised, and she isn't speaking."

My eyes widened, and my hands clenched into fists. I wanted nothing more than to strangle that dirty old man for even daring to think about Miku in _that_ way, nevermind actually touch her like that.

I shuffled in my bed, and tried standing up. Thankfully, it seemed the only thing that was not functioning like normal was my voice. I knew a cup of water or two would fix that in no time, so I was not worried.

Luki jumped up, and tried to keep me from getting up. "No no no, don't get up, your foot will hurt really badly," he said. I gave him a confused look and got up either way.

I cleared my throat a few times before trying to speak. "My foot's fine," I rasped.

Luki was clearly very confused. Then, slowly, he moved to the side. "...She's in the spare bedroom."

I nodded my thanks and walked over to where the spare bedroom was. I was a bit confused myself - Luki made it seem like there was something wrong with my foot, but it didn't hurt at all, not even when there was the pressure that was my body weight on it.

I got to the spare bedroom and walked in. On the bed was Miku, her small frame taking up not much space at all on the white sheets. She was sleeping.

There were wet patches all over the pillow, and someone had undone Miku's hair from her pink hair ties, leaving it to rest in a pile behind her head. I decided Miku looked better with her hair up. She didn't look like herself at all with it down.

Only when Miku stirred a little in her sleep did I realise what I had been doing. Staring at girls you don't even know very well was creepy, right? I quickly left the room and shut the door quietly behind me, making my way back to my bedroom. Luki had left, and had put a mug of tea and a plate of tuna sandwiches on the table. Smiling, I walked over and picked up the sandwich. Luki always knew how to cheer me up.

I was about to take a bite out of the sandwich when my body stopped me. I looked at the sandwich and sighed, before picking both it and the mug of tea up and walking into the spare bedroom with them. I set them down on the end table before hastily walking out. It wouldn't have been good to stay there and stare at Miku. She might've woken up. I don't think she would have appreciated me looking at her like a creeper after what she had went through.

I returned back to my room and got back into bed. All the warmth had left the pink sheets. I shivered, before closing my eyes. I fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Luki didn't let me go to school for the next week, and, to be honest, I didn't really want to. News had spread that someone attempted to rape Miku, and that I was there. I just knew I would be bombarded with questions from people who had never even so much as acknowledged me before about what happened. That's how kids are. Too curious for their own good.

When I did go back to school, people did try and talk to me. I treated them coldly, as to be expected. By lunch, everyone had given up trying to talk to me. I was grateful.

During the day, I kept an eye out for Miku's friends, the blonde twins. I didn't see them.

The next day, Miku came back to school. Again, people asked her questions, but she politely refused to answer them. She seemed quieter. I understood why.

Throughout the day, Miku kept to herself, and only talked when she needed to. During the last class of the day, music, our teacher told us to get into pairs for a project. Everyone in the class had a partner, except for me, Miku, and this boy with blue hair named Kaito. He was known around school for being a nice, genuine guy, someone who couldn't even hurt a fly, and had an unhealthy passion for ice-cream. When he was within five feet of Miku, I could tell she was scared, as she was shivering, and stuttering her speech. It pained me to see her like that, so I stepped between the two.

"She's my partner." I said while looking at the wall to my left, though my words were directed to Kaito.

"I don't mean to be rude, but-"

"I said that she's my partner. Now go." I cut him off. Kaito gulped, and quickly made his way over to the teacher. I sat down in the chair next to Miku, still not meeting her eyes. So, very softly, I heard something come out of her mouth.

"Thank you…"

It was so quiet that I wouldn't have heard what she was saying if I wasn't sat in such close proximity to her.

I just nodded my head in response, still not looking at her, before raising my head to look at the teacher. He seemed surprised that I had went to Miku to be her partner, though I understood why - the teacher knew I preferred to work alone, so he let Miku work with the blonde twins while I worked by myself.

He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I just shrugged, looked at Miku, then looked down. He dropped it, then started to explain what the project was.

We had two weeks to compose a song and record it. The only thing that made it different to other songwriting projects we had is that the lyrics had to be in a language other than English. I considered myself lucky. I'm fluent in both English and Japanese. This project would be a piece of cake.

When he let us talk to our partners to discuss the project, I only spoke the minimum amount. "I'll write it. You just sing it." With my few words said, I got up and walked into one of the adjoining practice rooms. The teacher didn't say anything. He always let me use the practice rooms whenever I wanted.

I didn't expect Miku to follow me in. I was going to growl at her to get out when I saw the look on her face. She looked so scared, so vulnerable. I couldn't kick her out.

Instead, I opened the door behind her and grabbed an empty seat from the classroom. I pushed the soft piano bench towards her before sitting at the piano with the plastic classroom chair and started work on the song.

I had a basic structure, melody and chord progression written out in no time. I wrote it all down on some blank sheets of paper and sheet music before trying a piano version of the song.

It worked really well. In my mind I had planned for it to be a rock song, with guitars, drums and a bass guitar. I had it all figured out. Well, all of it except the lyrics.

I have never been good at song lyrics. Composing the song itself was easy, not to mention more fun than coming up with lyrics. It was not uncommon for me to sit there for hours and hours and hours after school some days, only to come up with two verses and a chorus.

I grabbed an acoustic guitar off of the wall and pulled a pick out of the holder on the wall. I checked the guitar was in tune with a few strums before starting the song.

Every time it came to the time when the vocals would come in, my mind would go blank. I had no clue at all as to what to sing about. The only word I managed to get out was 'boku' before my mind went blank. I started the song up for the fifth time, already knowing what would happen.

As the moment for the vocals to come in drew closer, the less of an idea as to what I could sing about I had. I was expecting to just have to start again from the top yet again when I heard a voice singing to the song.

" _Boku, doko, shiro, kuro,_

 _Kimi ni aitakute_

 _Mata namida nagasu dake nandarou_

 _Kokoro no okusoko_

 _Tozashita omoide_

 _Todokanai koe ga hibiki atteku,_ "

I let the chord first chord ring out, as I hadn't expected anyone to sing. When it registered that Miku had lyrics, I started playing arpeggios to add to the music. Her voice truly was beautiful, and the lyrics she had came up with were deep and meaningful. To think that she had come up with lyrics that fit the rhythm of the song in the space of about four minutes was incredible. I continued strumming the guitar, and Miku continued singing.

" _Zutto, tsuzuku, shiawase dato_

 _Omotteita watashi wa_

 _Anata toiu hikari kiete_

 _Nagai yoru ga kuru no_

 _Kimi ga mada waratteru_

 _Yasashisa ni michi afureta_

 _Mune no naka tojikometa_

 _Taisetsuna ano egao o…_ "

When Miku stopped singing, my strumming died out. I didn't really know what to say.

"You speak Japanese?" was the only thing I could think of saying.

She looked at me warily before nodding slightly. "Yeah… My parents are Japanese."

"That's cool. My native languages are both English and Japanese." I don't know why, I just felt like talking to her. So I did.

Miku looked at me and blushed. She looked like she enjoyed speaking to me. Which must have been a first for anyone, ever.

"...What's it called?" I asked. She thought for a moment before speaking.

"Hope."

"...I like it." I got all the papers together and got one paper folder to put them all in. In permanent marker, I wrote ''Hope' by Miku and Luka' on the front. Then I got a blank piece of lined paper and handed it to Miku.

"Write the lyrics that you just sung down." With that, I got up and grabbed one of the electric guitars from a stand, and turned on the computer at the other end of the room. As I waited for the computer to load up, I snuck a glance at Miku, only to see that she was staring at me. Immediately, she looked away, and started writing down the lyrics onto the paper.

My gaze lingered on her for a few seconds after she looked away, before I opened up the workstation. I clicked a few things before nodding, and picking up the electric guitar. I strummed a few chords to check that it was in tune before I plugged it into an amp and put a microphone in front of it. Then I got to work recording the guitar.

I got it done after two goes; on the first go, I realised I had never started actually recording the guitar, and had to redo it again. Luckily, I don't think Miku noticed my mistake.

I finished recording both guitar parts, then checked how much time I had left. Fifteen minutes. I recorded the bass guitar next, as there wasn't a drum kit in this particular practice room that I could use. As soon as I saved the work I had got done, I heard the bell that told students and staff the school over that it was time to go home. I sighed, and shut down the computer. I picked up the folder and checked to see if Miku had written up the lyrics.

I smiled at the piece of paper. It had the title of the song along with our names across the top of the page, and underneath it had both the Japanese script and its English translation. She outdid herself. I only expected the Japanese lyrics Gently, I put the piece of paper in the folder, before walking towards the door.

"Wait…" Miku's small voice stopped me in my tracks. I turned my head slightly towards her. I waited for her to speak.

"...C-Can I walk home with y-you?" she asked timidly. Straight away I knew why Miku wanted to go with me. There was no way I could refuse her request without coming off as a total douche who didn't care for others.

"Yeah."

I heard her shuffling behind me. When I heard a soft cough behind me I turned around to see her stood there, cutely scratching her nose. I had to suppress the smile that was threatening to show on my features. Hastily, I walked out of the practice room and put the folder on top of the existing pile. Only when I was sure that Miku couldn't see me did I let the smile show.

Form that day on, Miku walked home with me everyday. The walk was more often silent than not, but it wasn't an awkward silence - it was a comfortable silence. After a week of walking home together, I decided to sit at Miku's table. Since the twins had left, the table that Miku usually sat at only had one, sole occupant. I was going to sit in the my regular spot outside when I noticed the tealette looking my way. As expected, Miku blushed and looked down at her food, which was a leek sandwich and a small bottle of vegetable juice.

I was pretty sure that Miku wouldn't mind me sitting there, so I got my lunchbox, went over to her table and started to unwrap my sandwich. She glanced up at me, a look of confusion settling over her flushed face.

"Why…?" she asked.

I just shrugged and took a bite out of my sandwich. She didn't prod further, and just ate her own food, the same comfortable silence settling over the table as when we walked home.

This routine carried on for the next two years. We'd eat together, work together in class if we needed to, and then walk home together, all in that same comfortable silence. When one of us saw that the other was a bit down, we wouldn't question it - but we always knew when something was up.

When we were both fifteen, things changed. I first noticed how she looked a lot more tired. Even during a few classes she fell asleep and ended up getting a detention for it. I waited behind for her every time this happened, but I didn't ask about what was happening.

Then, she ate less and less as the days went by. Before, she used to open her lunchbox excitedly and dig into the leek-related food item. Now, it was like she had to force herself to swallow down a few bites. Again, I didn't ask.

During gym classes, she had to regularly sit out. Every time we had that lesson, she would go up to the teacher and just sit out to the side. At this point, I definitely knew something was up with Miku. She usually loved gym class. But, of course, I didn't ask. I didn't suddenly have the right to know about what was going on in her life. ...If only I had asked.

Despite all these things I noticed, there were a lot of things I only discovered after it happened. I never knew that she lived with an abusive mother. I didn't know that she had a younger brother who had been murdered by his mother. I didn't noticed the self-inflicted scars that littered her wrists, her thighs, her legs. And, most foolishly of all, I didn't notice that she was in love with me.

I only managed to find out these things when Miku didn't come into school one day. Although her condition was getting worse and worse every day, she still managed to keep a perfect attendance record since the day she had gotten back after almost being raped. I knew something was up when she didn't come into school.

I sat through half of my first class before raising my hand to ask the teacher to go to the bathroom. It was a Thursday, and I had music first lesson. We were covering some theory that I already knew. The music teacher liked me, and he let me go. I didn't go to the bathroom, though. Instead, I went into the classroom I knew was both empty and had broken window locks.

I shut the door behind me, then raced over to the window. I opened it, then jumped through it. Fortunately, this classroom was on the ground floor, so I fell onto the grass fasely, before climbing over the gate, leaving the school grounds. Then, I started my walk to Miku's house.

When I got there, it looked deserted. I could hear nothing coming out of the house, and all the lights were off. Admittedly, I was slightly wary as to whether or not I should go in or not. But then I remembered Miku could be in there. I walked in without hesitation.

As soon as I opened the door, the strong scent of blood invaded my nostrils. My heart dropped. No.

I looked in the first room to my right. There was no-one in there. I staggered to the next room. There was a woman there, who had teal hair that looked so similar to Miku's own. She was watching TV, a bottle of whiskey in her hands. A bottle of whiskey in her red, blood-stained hands. _No._

The last room on the first floor had a puddle of blood in front of it. I already knew what was inside this room before I even walked in. I don't know why I felt like vomiting when I walked in.

On the sofa near the back of the room was Miku in her school clothes. Her hair was tied up in her regular teal pigtails. Her red schoolbag was next to her left hand.

Blood covered her white school shirt. The skin that I was so used to seeing flushed red with nervousness was pale. Her hair, her long, soft, silky hair was more red than teal. There was a massive cut along the front of her shirt, and blood oozed out of it.

 _No..._

I gasped, and staggered further into the room. I knelt down next to her dead body. I felt for a pulse one her cold, white neck. Nothing.

My next memories are practically nonexistent. Everything went red. It was just like when that rapist went after Miku when she was twelve. Except this time, everything was more vivid.

The next thing I remember is waking up at home, in bed. Luki wasn't there this time. I got up. I went downstairs. I saw a letter on the floor, and picked it up. It was for me. The address was written in Miku's handwriting.

I went back upstairs and climbed into bed before I opened it. I read the contents slowly, letting every word etch itself into my being before moving on to the next one. She told me everything. Absolutely everything.

She told me that she knew she was going to die. She told me about her backstory. She told me about how her life changed when I saved her that day. She told me about her worsening condition. She told me that either her mother or the cancer would get her first. She even told me that she loved me.

As I read the last sentence, I knew what I was going to do. End it all.

Some might consider it the coward's way out. I see it as an opportunity to be with her again. That is something I will do anything for. So, I planned it out. I burnt Miku's letter, just like she asked me to. Then, I went and ate four whole cans of tuna. It was a nice last meal. After that, I went to sleep.

That was yesterday. It's Friday today. I've always loved Fridays. The day when Miku first came and talked to me those nine years ago was a Friday.

...It's funny how many things you realise you love when you know they're all about to go. Or, when they are already gone. That's the case with me and Miku.

...I'm an idiot. It _was_ obvious that Miku, at the very least, had a crush on me. But, alas, I was too dense to notice it. Maybe, just maybe, I would have known about her feelings, about her illness, if I tried talking to her on those walks home, or when we ate lunch together.

Actually, no. Fuck that. We both know that I wouldn't have talked to her. That silence would have never been broken. I'm still terrified of failure, like that cold little girl from nine years ago. Some things never change.

Anyway, the whole point of me painstakingly writing out mine and Miku's story. You can probably guess what's going to happen to me.

I don't know who is reading this. It's probably Luki. I'm really sorry, Luki. I know I haven't been talking to you since she died, and that you are worried sick over me. I realise how much it will hurt you to find this letter, then only realise what I've done at the end of it. It's selfish of me, I know, but you've always said you want me to be happy. For me to be happy, I need to be with her. And for me to be with her, I have to die. I'm sorry.

You'll find me in the alleyway where Miku was almost raped. My body shouldn't be in a really bad condition. I'm already burdening you enough, what with having to deal with me dying. I wouldn't want you to have to witness the horrors that I saw.

Don't make too much of a fuss over my funeral. I don't want it to be big. But do try and bury me close to Miku. That's all I ask.

Goodbye for now,

Megurine Luka

PS: As an afterthought, I should also mention that it was me who killed Miku's mother. Even though I don't even remember doing it, it was probably me. But, at least, now I'm dead, so you won't have to deal with a court case, right?

Sorry, again. I'll stop breathing, now.

* * *

 **A/N:** That's, like, the most dramatic thing I've ever written. Woah.

I wrote this over five hours last evening and an hour today. it was originally supposed to be a ~1,000 word oneshot. Now, it's a ~5,000 word oneshot. :D

I've not abandoned _Improvements_. It's just that the latest chapter is really long, and I wanted to write Miku, since she doesn't show up in that other chapter. Oh well. Sorry.

Please review this - I practically live for feedback. So, please please please review. Please. Thanks. And read my other story if you haven't. It's semi-decent.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloid, and the song is 'Hope' by Yuyoyuppe. It's a really good song. I recommend you listen to it.**

 **Edited on 28-5-16 for grammar errors and little continuity errors. If I've missed any, please let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

...Hi, Luka.

You're probably wondering why I'm writing to you. To be completely honest, I am too. I could just, you know, come up to you _in real life_ , and tell you all this stuff, but I might not get the chance to. I'll talk more about that later.

...This is, like, the fifteenth time I've tried writing this letter. I was going to throw this draft away too (excuse the crumples and the ink smudges there) when I realised I had no paper left, and I can't go out because Mother might see me. So I'm gonna have to continue on this one. Ignore all the scribbles. Oh, and if any sentences don't make much sense, don't blame me. I've never been the best at English. Even though I've been learning it since I was about four or something. And I can't use my arm properly. Ah, well.

...Do you remember that day three years ago, when I just came back to school after that man did… stuff? Yeah, on that day, I was _so_ terrified. Everyone tried talking to me, asking me random questions that bought up bad memories and stuff, and I didn't know what to do. So, then I just ended up trying to shoo them away politely. It kinda worked. I wish that Rin and Len were there. But then their parents got a job offer and they had to move all the way to France.

Oh, I've just realised that you don't know who Rin and Len are, because you didn't really talk much. Wait, no, I'm not trying to imply that you're a loner and that you have no friends, I'm just saying that you keep to yourself, and you prefer being alone to being with other people. Yeah. That sounds alright. Wait, ignore that last sentence too. Man, I knew I was bad at writing, but not this bad, y'know? Meh, ignore me.

Anyways, they were those blonde twins I used to hang about with. Rin was the girl, and Len was the boy, but he looked a lot like a girl. We used to make fun of him for that. Me and Rin would gang up against him. It was really fun.

They were the only two people in the whole school I could act normally around. They bought out the loud, shouty side of me that barely any people see. You know, I think I've shown only four people that side of me: my little brother, Rin, Len, and you. Well, it would be you, if this letter's coming off like how I want it to come off. Eh, it probably isn't. I really can't write letters. When I write one, I wanna write all formal-like, and it isn't good in this context, 'cos I'm trying to be chatty, and all...

...I've gone completely off track, haven't I? One minute I was talking about that man, the next I'm talking about how I can't write a letter properly. And now I've got barely any space left on this piece of paper. Great.

I can rip out pages of my school exercise book, can't I? It's not like I'm going back there. I don't need these books anymore. But I'll talk about that later.

So, yeah, that day when we had music. I walked into music, took my usual place. You were already there, sat where you usually sit. The teacher started talking, and then, after a while, he told us to get into pairs. I looked at Rin and Len's usual places across the classroom, only to see that the chairs were empty. Yup, I forgot they left. Stupid me.

Then, I looked around the classroom, and saw that everyone was already in pairs, except for you, me, and that boy called Kaito.

Rin and Len used to tease me endlessly about how I had a crush on him. Well, I did _kinda_ have a crush on him, but it faded. My interest in boys in general faded after that… incident.

I was terrified of him. As he walked up to me, I was reminded of the man that tried to… rape me. They both had the same blue hair, they both had the same blue eyes, and they even _walked_ in a similar way. Y'know, I wouldn't be surprised if he was Kaito's creepy dad or something. Of course I was gonna be scared!

I am so, so, _so_ grateful that you came and stopped him. I was confused as to why you did it, 'cos I noticed how you always worked by yourself. I remember how you talked to him, and the look on his face was actually priceless! You then sat down next to me, and didn't even look at me. I was slightly scared - I still remember when you told me to "get lost" when we were kids, you know. I could never forget that.

I just looked down at my shoes while listening to the teacher tell us what we had to do. Then, I heard you take in a breath. In that split second, I was curious. I mean, you saved me, but you didn't say anything, so I wanted to know what you'd say to me, and if it would be happy, or sad, or scary, and stuff.

"I'll write the song. You just sing it."

To be honest, your tone of voice frightened me a little. It was so flat and monotone. But, it wasn't cold. You came off very differently to what the rumours about the school's resident "pink-haired devil" was like.

You got up, and walked into the practice rooms. I looked at the teacher out of confusion, but he saw you walk out and didn't even bat an eyelid, so I thought it was alright. Kaito started to approach me when the door shut behind you, and I was scared. Again. Out of panic, I literally charged into the practice room that you were in.

You turned around and looked at me, and the face you had on was _so scary_ , my knees actually wobbled a bit. Literally, it looked like you wanted to rip my throat out! And I knew that you were capable of it, after what I saw you do to that man. I really, _really_ didn't want to get on your bad side.

I don't know why you didn't kick me out. You looked like you wanted to. I was really happy when you just sighed, and let me stay. After that, I just watched you work. All those pieces of paper with all those random musical symbols on them were really confusing. I still don't understand how you manage to understand it all. I definitely don't.

You then played the song through after about fifteen minutes. I was really shocked that you managed to write a full song in such a small period of time. I could never, _ever_ do that.

I was so excited to hear what the lyrics were. I just knew that they were going to be deep and meaningful, maybe a bit mysterious, like you are.

...Imagine my surprise when you had to restart the song a bajillion times because you couldn't think of lyrics.

I was like, _woah, I thought Luka was supposed to be good at everything! And she can't even write simple song lyrics!_

Your face became more and more red with every time that you had to restart the song. I don't know whether you were red because you were annoyed, or because you were embarrassed. I figured that you probably didn't have people watch you work for musical magic very often.

Wait, again, I didn't mean to say that you're a loner again… Ah, hell. You get what I mean. Hopefully.

To be honest, I was actually getting bored of hearing that same intro over and over again, only to be cut off when you couldn't think of what to say. I mean, the song was catchy and all, but you were testing the limits of my patience. So, I took matter into my own hands, and started singing some lyrics.

I still remember every word of that song, you know. That song's really special to me. For a couple of reasons. Two, to be exact.

Do you know what that song is about? Actually, scratch that, of course you don't - I never told you. How are you supposed to know?

Anyways, it's about my little brother. I mentioned him earlier, I think…? Yeah, him. He was born when I was four, literally two days before we moved here from Japan. He was _sooooo_ cute! He had a little, scrunched up face, the cutest little button nose, and he made the cutest noises ever!

We were so close. We were almost inseparable.

But then Mother got to him.

She originally wanted to have a little girl, and older boy, a loving husband, a nice house, and everything else everyone else dreams of, but that was shattered when Father did some… stuff, yeah, stuff, to her, which made her go a bit mentally unstable, and stuff. She was already a bit upset when I was born. I remember hearing one of their arguments one night, which was about the fact that I wasn't a boy, but she got over it, but then she got pregnant with my little Mikuo instead of the little girl she always dreamed of, and got pushed over the edge.

She tried to love him, she really did, but when he was eight, and I was twelve, she got angry, and…

Oops. Ignore that smudged ink there.

Anyways, she… drowned him, in the bathtub, while I was at school. I got home, and I found him there, his once gentle eyes staring up past me, lifeless and glassy, all the brightness gone.

And then, literally a week later, I find out my best friends, my _only_ friends, are leaving, and then, on the first day they aren't there, I end up getting harassed by some random old man. My life was going _soooo_ well, right?

I thought up those lyrics as Mikuo was, like, the light of my life. He'd make me feel happy when I was down, with his cheesy, youthful smile, and his jokes, which made no sense whatsoever, and I'd help him cheer up when his day had been bad, too. When he died, I was close to breaking down completely, and losing all my sanity. Life was so dark, and I'd walk home, expecting to hear Mikuo's silly new nickname of the week for me when I got in, only to have the deafening sound of silence greet me. After he died, all I could do was go up into my pathetic excuse for a bedroom and cry. And soon after I'd even have to stop crying 'cos Mother would come home.

She was even more angry after. She knew what she did was wrong, and she knew that I knew she had done what she did, and she didn't want me "babbling to the people at school" about it. So, she kept me from telling people by threatening to take away my food (which, to be honest, wasn't really that great in the first place) and then, when she thought I was getting too rebellious, she'd threaten to…

...She'd threaten to do what she did to Mikuo to me.

I wasn't even safe in my own house. I didn't know that there would be anywhere where I _was_ safe.

I wasn't allowed to grieve for Mikuo, or do anything at all against her. So that song, it was like a tiny little act of rebellion I could have against her. My grieving for Mikuo is in that song. That's the first reason as to why that song is special.

The second is that it was the first time I got to know you.

The rumours going around school about you made me think you were a nasty person, and that thought was only supported by what you did to me when we were kids (like I said, I remember that day, you know?) so I was touched when you treated me nicely.

And then, a bit later, when you sat near me at lunch, I was so happy, you don't even know-

I'm sorry. I just heard Mother come in through the door. That means I've got about half an hour before she comes upstairs.

Wow. That means I've been writing all night. Just... woah. If only I worked as hard at school as I did with this letter, huh?

..I should mention why I've been down these last few weeks before... anything happens. So, I was diagnosed with cancer a few months after Mikuo died (my life keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?), and Mother lied to the doctors about these "treatments" I was receiving (I wasn't really getting treated at all). So, I had to hide all the pains I got.

It worked for a bit, but then, a few weeks back, it suddenly got worse. I _think_ it's spread to some other parts of my body, but I'm not too sure. I found it hard just to get out of bed in the mornings, and even harder to get to school. Weird marks and bumps starting appearing all over me, and I didn't know what to do. Mother noticed, but threatened me with my life _and_ the person's life who I told if I told anyone what was up. So I kept quiet.

I would've told you, you know. But I don't want you to get hurt. I would rather die a slow, painful death by the hands of the one I love the most because they hate my face than let you get hurt.

By the way, you're the one I love the most.

Yeah, it's sudden, but I've noticed you since we were kids, and I've always known that I'm not like most other people when it comes to what kind of people I like, but I don't care. You're you. I'd love you no matter what you do.

...So, I'd better wrap this up now. Mother'll call me down in about ten minutes, and I still have to think of what to write.

Nevermind. I hear her coming upstairs now. Sorry for the abruptness.

Love you. Really.

-Hatsune Miku

* * *

Miku signed off the letter hastily before grabbing the cream envelope next to her. _Wow_ , she thought, _I am so lucky that I decided to write her address on this before I tried writing the letter._

She folded up the paper unevenly and forced it into the envelope, then practically spat on it to seal it. As her fingers folded the flap over, Miku cringed at all the spit. _Well… there's nothing I can do about it now…_

She heard the slurred voice of her mother through the door. "Miku... "

In seconds, the door burst open, and Miku's drunk mother staggered into the room. Not wanting her mother to see the letter, she shoved it into the waistband of her school skirt behind her back. It was lucky she did this, as her mother immediately walked straight up to her. Miku cowered slightly.

"Go to the shop and buy some leeks, you worthless bitch!" she slurred, her unpleasant breath invading Miku's senses. Miku had to force herself from gagging and recoiling in disgust.

"Y-Yes, M-Mother."

"Good kid." Her mother ruffled a dirty hand through Miku's long, teal hair before staggering back towards the door of the small bedroom.

The door slammed shut behind Miku's mother, and Miku sighed worriedly. The clock on her desk read twenty five to seven in the morning. She'd have to leave for school in ten minutes if she didn't want to be late.

Sighing, she looked between the little amount of money she had to her name, the slightly scrunched up letter she had just pulled out from behind her back, and her schoolbag. She didn't know what to do…

Then, it came to her. She still needed a stamp for the letter, and, if she went to the shop and bought a stamp, she'd be able to post the letter at the mailbox near there, then come home, give her mother the leeks, then still get to school without missing too much lesson time!

She smiled, and picked everything up. The money in her hands and the letter in her bag, she strolled out of her bedroom and down the stairs to leave the house. She pushed the door open in front of her and set off to the shops, hiding the growing pain she felt wash over her body with every step with a forced smile.

 _Getting this done will let Luka know how I feel. And, if she gets the letter soon enough, and I'm, by some miraculous miracle, still alive, then we'll be able to be together!_

This thought alone made her feel stronger, and the smile on her face turned genuine.

 _Yeah. Luka's worth this pain._

* * *

Watching from inside the house, Miku's mother scowled. _Why's that girl so happy for?_

She scrutinized her only daughter as she walked away, a slight spring in her step. Miku was starting to do her head in. She thought cancer killed people quicker than this. Miku should've been dead ages ago.

An idea came to her. She smirked, and walked over to the kitchen. Pulling out the sharpest knife she could find, the small smile on her face evolved into a dark, sadistic grin.

 _This'll give her something to be happy about._

* * *

 **A/N:**...Yeah. This happened because I really, _really_ wanted to write Miku's letter. So I did. :DDD

A massive thanks to AngelicPanda (your review made me grin like a madman for the rest of the day once I read it!), chi2lyn (I'm happy that my writing makes other people happy(or sad... or whatever you feel)!) and Azhenet (no, thank you for reviewing!) for sparing the time to write me a review. I'm also thanking those of you who favourited or followed this story (I'm not sure why people followed, though - I wrote that this was a oneshot in the summary...?), because you people make me smile too.

Thanks for reading, and please review and favourite (I assure you, I'm not continuing this on now, so there's no point following. I swear down.)!

 **Disclaimer: I swear, I haven't bought the rights to Vocaloid or the song 'Hope' by Yuyoyuppe in these past eight (I think...?) days. So I don't own Vocaloid, or my favourite Miku song, 'Hope'.**

 **Edited on 28-5-16 for grammar and other bits I felt needed improving. Tell us if I've missed anything out!**


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